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Deborah Ann (McCluskey) Orr, 62, passed away peacefully at home surrounded by her loving family on Wednesday, August 12, 2020 after an illness. She co-created the 2012 play Enquirer, about the paper-to-digital transformation of her beloved profession, which had a successful run for the National Theatre of Scotland at The Hub at Glasgows Pacific Quay. The services of food banks have never been more in demand. That was everything to Win., She had shown promise as an artist, though destroyed her work old nonsense, taking up space. If you have a story suggestion email entertainment.news@bbc.co.uk. Deborah Orr, award-winning journalist. The comments below have not been moderated. She also agreed a deal to publish her first book - a memoir, which is due out next year. She writes about pathological narcissists that do so much damage be they unthinking blinkered parent or husband. Email: dorr@yorku.ca. Girls at best were the crumpet to simper over Jimmy Savile on Top Of The Pops. We are no longer accepting comments on this article. All rights reserved. Except that Tim still hadnt met my parents. One night, at about 2am, in the dead purgatory between Christmas and New Year, I was roused from sleep by my father and told I was needed downstairs. If Id been told then that Id never live in Scotland again, Id have assumed that I was conversing with a lunatic. ON the road out of Hamilton there used to be signs which indicated Motherwell and Beyond. The total change in his character, the full engagement of biker culture, the calculated nastiness and horror, was like a blow. And I decided, most dysfunctionally of all, that what I needed was a boyfriend to protect me. She was born in Boston, the daughter of Richard J. and M This is an edited extract from Motherwell by Deborah Orr (Weidenfeld and Nicolson, 16.99, and also available as an audiobook). Are you sure you want to delete this comment? She writes that it was bewildering, this duality, this keeping of two flames, one of Scottish victimhood, the other of Scottish superiority. None of them even knew how to do a pan of chips, let alone put out a chip-pan fire, which as far as I was concerned were the basic survival skills. Yet, weirdly, even though these people were undoubtedly far more sophisticated than I was, a lot of them also seemed stupid. It felt uncomplicated. As Orr would have been quick to say, all lives, looked at from a certain not un-Scottish perspective, are experiments that fail. Fascinating memoir examines the Do not sell or share my personal information. The poet. Full Profile. Other Deborah said she was tired, and I went up to the flat. All rights reserved. The family lived at 18 Clyde Terrace, a timber-clad, typical two-storey dwelling in the middle of others much the same, and she recalls the bureau that stood in the corner of the living room, overseen by her mother, Win, who managed all its papers, all its memories. Arrangements are under the care of the Miles-Sterling Funeral and Tribute Center, 100 Worcester Road, Sterling.To share a memory or to offer an online condolence, please visit the "Tribute Wall" on this page. Editors' Code of Practice. I was living in Edinburgh and, like most people from mining families, I was going on the demos, helping with the collections, attending the fundraisers. Orr, who was born in Motherwell, joined the Guardian in 1990, becoming the first female editor of its Weekend magazine before she was 30. It charted the influence of her mother, who railed against Deborah going to university. By The name really means the Well of the Mother of God, and while it hardly competed with Canterbury or even with such Scottish sites as the shrine containing the statue of Our Lady of Haddington at Whitekirk, it may well have been a place of pilgrimage. heraldscotland.com is tackling this problem by allowing only subscribers to comment. There had been a corridor party in the hall of residence. Or maybe that is not so amazing. (In top Ronseal style, it was called Sales Direction.) I wished that I had the kind of mother I could tell about such a thing. I had to repeat everything, sometimes many times. The barriers between private and public life were in her case porous, and while the focus of her attention is her own family, the wider life of society is always in sight. Deborah Jane Orr (23 September 1962 19 October 2019)[1][bettersourceneeded] was a British journalist who worked for The Guardian, The Independent and other publications. But things started going too fast. Parents and teachers were physically violent towards children, a normal punishment back then. Newsquest Media Group Ltd, 1st Floor, Chartist Tower, Upper Dock Street, Newport, Wales, NP20 1DW Registered in England & Wales | 01676637 |. As she led them through an argument to her conclusions, the workings of her mind were visible, and she was not polemical. I was too naive back then to call it what it was, which was rape. All the time, Deborah is looking at Win and asking: Did she mother well? But she also asks who she is herself, how capable, how good. Going out with boys, applying to university (the first in the family), even keeping her own name on being married all this infuriated her mother. The incident is such a perfect example of infantilisation that it doesnt even qualify as a metaphor. Writer John Niven was given an early copy and predicted it will be "a huge hit". Motherwellian sounds merely odd. And what a remarkable book it is - impassioned, angry, tender, pathetic, honest to a fault. Deborah is related to Steve Robert Orr and Robert G Orr as well as 2 additional people. Tim was astounded, and not a little put off. Editors' Code of Practice. We had lunch in the pub, and Win ate with exquisite relish. Please put us down for one of your high-rises and all the clean air up there, one woman wrote. For Motherwell, much of the civic pride was aroused by its great steel works. On the day they blew Ravenscraig down, Deborah was there with her father, mother and brother David. What makes China tick? The family produced some colourful characters. [7] In February 2018, she joined the i newspaper as a regular columnist. Jo Swinson 'considering' running for Willie Rennie's Holyrood seat, Pope Francis to deliver mass by video streaming to avoid crowds. Some basic help and starters when you have to write a tribute to someone you love. Our prison service is a series of riots waiting to happen. And more recently: Brexit is like deciding you are going to cure cancer by giving up membership of your golf club., In the offices of The Guardian and The Independent, she knew how to put or keep male colleagues in their place. Ah kent his faither, or mither, is the most withering of Scots contempt. Youve lived in Scotland all of your life and youve NEVER BEEN SHOOTING?. Please put us down for one of your high-rises and all the clean air up there, one woman wrote. Perhaps best known for her pithy outspokenness in the Guardian, Orr had the kind of successful career that many parents would have celebrated but this was not the case for Orr whose constantly belittling mother, Win, often treated her like a subservient companion rather than a loved child or autonomous human being. I thought I was doing OK, but this odd but honest toil didnt cut any ice with John and Win. Deborah Orr (pictured as a child) documented her childhood in Lanarkshire in a fascinating memoir, before her death last October. Motherwellis written at such a pitch of intensity you sometimes have to put it down just to get your breath back. Her always fiercely intelligent point of view," she added. Brexit was like deciding you are going to cure cancer by giving up membership of your golf club, she opined. Somehow I managed completely to ignore for the three years of our relationship what seems laughably plain now that he was unfaithful throughout. They had two sons and lived in Stockwell;[18] they separated in 2017 and divorced in 2018. My pride wouldnt let me admit to Win and John that theyd been right and Id been wrong. This website and associated newspapers adhere to the Independent Press Standards Organisation's The story of family and town are intertwined not just in the chapters on her childhood years, as would be common in an autobiography, but for her whole life, even after she had moved to London. It reaches wisdom, of a kind, and I felt that much sorrier that the author didnt live to see its publication. Watching images of the event, I thought the gas holder merited the same praise. How much she remembers! Observer columnist Catherine Bennett described her friend Orr as "one of the cleverest, most unconventional, most fearless people on the planet". By doing so, finishing the book not long before she died last October at the age of 57, she produced what I believe to be the best memoir to appear out of Scotland since 1935, the year of Edwin Muirs Scottish Journey. He OK too? Motherwell sets itself apart by the energy and exactness of Orrs writing. She tells of the theft of a cherished bracelet by a girl of her own age and her fathers inability to recover it even after they went to the home of the juvenile thief and could see it on her wrist. But if this seems Dickensian, or out of a Thomas Hardy novel, Orr is unabashed. [22], She died of breast cancer in October 2019, aged 57. Little is said of her own rancorous break-up with author, Will Self. Orr had a loyal following as a columnist at the Independent (1999-2009), then back at the Guardian until its reshaping as a tabloid in 2018, and finally at the i newspaper. I could have had some of the chapter round as witnesses, got my red wings.. Oh, God. When I turned up the next day though, the Sunday, Win said she didnt want to go in the taxi again because it was too expensive. I dont want to be a teacher., Why not? There was huge resentment between town and gown, and my sympathies lay with town. Original reporting and incisive analysis, direct from the Guardian every morning, 2023 Guardian News & Media Limited or its affiliated companies. The grounds contain the remains of a 12th-century chapel dedicated to St Patrick, now the mausoleum of the Lords Hamilton of Dalzell. Alexander Chancellor and Julie Burchill were signed up as columnists. I found it stressful, continuing to defend my decision to go, trying to prove that this wouldnt catapult me out of the family as theyd predicted. This is just another one of your nine-day wonders, Deborah. A Gannett Company. Did I not know that I was ruined? Her battle for her mothers approval was agonised and endless. The second-last time I ever saw my mother was in 2013, when we spent the afternoon in New Lanark, a place my family loved. Professor Deborah Orr is an Associate Professor in the Division of Humanities and the Humanities Graduate Program and in the Graduate Program in Humanities, Religion, Values and Culture Field. On the day they blew Ravenscraig down, Deborah was there with her father, mother and brother David. inaccuracy or intrusion, then please There I met Tim, with whom I formed the most normal and equal long-term relationship Ive ever had. From 1993 to 1998 she proved to be a gifted editor of the Guardians Weekend magazine, setting a serious tone and a high bar by eschewing trivia in favour of carefully chosen big reads, often on challenging subjects. Journalist and broadcaster Mariella Frostrup noted how Orr had been making plans for a future she knew she probably wouldn't see. Its either that or a Glasgow kiss.. No! Not the least of the strengths of this book is that it gives a picture of the complexities of mother-daughter relationship in Scotland. It is only the recent history of the town that interests Orr and we will come to that, but its story stretches back. In 2017, in a Guardian column, she revealed her diagnosis of complex post-traumatic stress disorder, rooted in a working-class childhood in her birthplace of Motherwell, near Glasgow, as the daughter of Win (Winifred, nee Avis) and her husband, John Orr, a factory worker. To offer your sympathy during this difficult time, you can now have memorial trees planted in a National Forest in memory of your loved one. She found the courage to visit me in London one time after John died, then never came again. You are worthless. READ MORE:Jo Swinson 'considering' running for Willie Rennie's Holyrood seat. Angela Rippon, for example, was mocked and questioned for lacking the gravitas and authority to read the news bulletins. [5] In a domestic environment where Orr constantly felt undereducated, Self told her early in their marriage Im jealous of your thoughts, because they are inside you a remark chiming with one of Wins creepy, claustrophobic sayings: Whats yours is mine, and whats mine is my own.. I felt that Id deserved this experience of sex for leading him on. She was early on to the fact that minor crime was not being checked by policing, resulting in a permissive atmosphere and the increase in knife crime. It's surprising how much a musical selection can affect mourning. I didnt know why people kept declaring that theyd probably get a tutu. Comments have been closed on this article. They routinely opened letters that were sent to me. Their disapproval dogged me, in ways I didnt understand or acknowledge. As boys we thought that prosecuted was a synonym of executed, and having watched too many cowboy films we assumed it meant that trespassers would be shot on sight. [4] She attended Garrion Academy, Wishaw (which later merged with Wishaw High School to form Clyde Valley High School) and the University of St Andrews, from which she graduated with a degree in English in 1983. She moved to Weekend magazine and in 1993 succeeded Roger Alton as editor. That night my mother rounded things off by adding, as some kind of double-edged sweetener, I love you, Deborah. Orr the columnist adapted readily to social media, communicating frankly about bitter disputes as her marriage to Self crumbled. Facebook gives people the power to. inaccuracy or intrusion, then please If she had, however, we wouldnt have this rather special book. The slightly hell-like, hyper-mechanised landscape comes with skies like bruises and feral, grassless garden plots. It should also be dangled in the faces of one-nation opportunists, for whom working-class communities only become real when they vote Conservative. I told no one. Motherwell is a frustrating book that raises as many questions as it answers. There are several authoritative portraits of father-son relationships, such as that by Thomas Carlyle, the Red Clydesider David Kirkwood and even by RL Stevenson, but Orr breaks new ground, and does so with heart-breaking truthfulness, some subtlety of insight but also some brutality of memory. But I couldnt face telling my parents that St Andrews wasnt right for me, couldnt bear to tell anyone else the bizarre to all of them, I felt sure fact that my parents hated me being at university. The sadness. There is great accuracy in the books sociological depictions, great courage in its manner of uncovering family secrets. [1], In January 2018, her column for The Guardian ended when the newspaper relaunched in tabloid format. Win gave the anguished cry of narcissists the world over: But what about me?. She once told me Deborah was perverse, and, of course, clever children must sometimes seem that way to their confused and fretful parents. It followed a turbulent period when Orr had served as an unhappy literary editor of the Guardian and left the paper in the wake of the departure of her then husband, the journalist, author and media personality Will Self from its sister paper, the Observer. Original reporting and incisive analysis, direct from the Guardian every morning, 2023 Guardian News & Media Limited or its affiliated companies. I got a job as a typesetter, then a job with a trade magazine for sales directors. Deborah Ann Orr, 53, of Gulfport, passed away Sept. 13, 2011. The atmosphere at home was pure, toxic hostility. They reluctantly gave me permission. Initially, the descriptions of life in the shadow of the Ravenscraig steel mill, which made girders for bridges and power stations, have a macabre beauty. You dont have A PASSPORT? This building became a news story in itself after a large chunk of masonry fell from its facade to the ground. Decent 19th century housing is flattened in a fake spirit of do-gooding modernism, and terrible high-rise flats are constructed. They had much in common, being insular, proud, fearful and disapproving. But the rest, the education bit? The very name Motherwell was always the butt of facile jokes, especially from English-speaking foreigners or comics invited along to the local Miners Welfare. The services of food banks have never been more in demand. What was it all for? It will seem to observers a minor incident, a piece of childhood naughtiness quickly forgotten but being shamed for her theft was the decisive event in the formation of character, the single thing that means that when someone tells me I am defective, it always sounds like the truth about myself. I once saw some letters sent to David Gibson, Glasgows messianic early 1960s housing convenor he took seven sugars in his tea, his wife said which came from citizens desperate to escape the slums. Her mother Win (Winifred, ne Avis) was an Essex girl her father had met and married during a spell as a postman in southern England. [13] Orr apologised for words which she described as "badly chosen and poorly used". At some point well into adulthood she went into psychotherapy, and was introduced to the concept of narcissism, which becomes the dominant touchstone in her analysis of everything and everyone, particularly of her parents, Win and John.

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